It can not be

I have made my list of pros and cons and they are pretty equal. Except for one. The air is temperate the past few days, but that can change in a heartbeat. Here, within the wagon, I have food, protection, warmth. Out there - in the land of endless sky - I risk everything. Except here I am alone. I am not yet ready to risk everything.

I walked today, as far as I could while still able to see the wagon, but there was nothing to offer me hope, or guidance, or anything at all. My Seeker keeps watch in the distance still and I seemed to get no closer to him. It must be a trick of vision, a spot lost out in the wide expanse of sameness. I did run back, clumsily against the half frozen mud and sloppy grass. Awkward in all the layers of leather and fur, I wouldn't win any praise for great form, but it felt incredible. The air nipped at my cheeks until they felt warm and tingly. The cold prickles that stabbed at my lungs eased and that carefree rush of good feeling swept over me. For a few ehn I felt like it might be all right. I have to believe I will be all right. I refuse to believe this is all there is for me. Yama could not have sent me off to this destiny. She wouldn't.

I am, however, sensible. I will keep this diary with me at all times now - just in case.

My given name is Genesee Amnell, daughter of Trace and Anna, granddaughter of Kahlan and Drake.

I was raised on the Middleland Ranch near the fork of Critch Creek.

Almost 18 at the time of this writing, I have been making my way north to find my future.

In my dreams, in my heart, in my soul ... I sought a future much like my past. I wanted a home that opened it's arms to friends and family. A comfortable refuge, filled with all the good life offered. The touch and comfort of those same friends and family always present in my life. And most of all, I dreamt of someone to share my vision with. He would light up to see me, as much as I would glow in the joy of Him. Someone to share my goals with, to sign on board to share his with, and make them into our realities. A place to build my love, weave it so strongly, wrapped safe in his arms. My advisor and comfort, and I his. Our legacy written in the glimmer of stars, wrought by the sweat of our brow, side by side, and relished in the amber light of our safe refuge.

My dreams can not end here.

If this diary would be found, then I beg of the reader, carry on my wishes. Relish each moment allowed as a gift given. Cherish ... life and all it's blessings.