Me, Myself and I

Goldie's friend is named Ilona, and they have been nearly inseparable for the past few days. I liked her well enough, endeared by her energetic passionate nature. But I have found myself - missing - Goldie. Our time together was brief at best during the days, but right now they feel like golden moments. That feeling multiplied and magnified today and I found myself missing Yama and home so deeply. I wonder now if this journey I had so enthusiastically embraced was a mistake. Not that I could change it, the actuality of it, but how I think about it.

That is how I found myself down at the stream, far from the hustle and bustle of the caravan and people. Far enough away that I couldn't even hear the calls of one merchant to another peddler. The air was warm, so much warmer than it had been. The ground was like a soaked sponge, oozing liquid at every touch, and dark brown mud at the slightest hint of pressure. The air near the water was cooler, capturing the chill that the liquid provided. I snuggled into my coat as I crouched, watching the rippling surface dance to the wind's beckon. I pictured a tarn. - or at least what I thought a tarn would be like - swooping down and taking me high up into the sky. Great massive black wings that blocked out Lar Torvis' shine, gliding through the crisp air, dipping on a current to whisk me away and back to the ranch and familiarity. My stomach flipped a little and instinctively I closed my eyes. The ranch appeared, and the upturned faces of Yama and Uncle Dray. I saw the fences like little toothpick sculptures and miniature animals hardly moving against the mud splattered grass. And I realized I couldn't go back there. Everything had changed. Nothing had changed. I - had changed.

I wasn't awash on the gentle waves of a comfortable life any more. My dream future had developed fangs and colors I didn't know existed. This was no slight slope but an incline of grand proportions I was facing and - adventure or not - I had best stock up for the ride to come. I turned and looked right into the steady gaze of Pike, awaiting my answer to a question I hadn't even noticed.