Comfortably Numb

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, Come on, Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
I have become comfortably numb...............


I lay against the generous shoulder of Aunt Connee. Her arm looped around me, squeezing now and again and only the sounds of our breathing acted as vocal conversation. My sounds were ragged, like a sputtering waterfall over jagged rocks. I still could not cry. Behind us, sleeping restlessly, lay the many that Connee had helped. I envisioned that this was something she did often.

I had run from the horror that my mind refused to comprehend. Stumbling through the thick pungent air as so many did, it was hard to tell if we were even running in the right direction. I tripped, dirt and rocks biting hard into my knees and one palm. The other hand crashed into a body, lifeless eyes imploring me to engage. I screamed, feeling an irrational fright that the body would keep me forever and take me to the depths of misery. My heart pumped so furiously against my ribcage, I hardly noticed being kicked as another raced by, nor the feeble voice that beseeched.."Help me".

The irony of the situation still haunts me - young and virile taken hostage by the dismal smoke, while a man many many years past his prime lived to struggle. His legs, ancient crippled appendages that could hardly bear his weight were his bane. He, himself, was light, and easy for me to help stand erect. I could not just leave him. Together we stepped forward, though now at a snail's pace. Eventually the air cleared enough so that I could see the stretch of wagons haphazardly parked all over the plains. The first we came upon was Aunt Connee's.

Aunt Connee is of the outer wagons. She lives among the poor, and the poor in spirit. Healers do not venture here often, and are usually only called for the most dire of circumstances. Aunt Connee ministered a blend of ancient healing practices with a generous amount of caring. Her name was whispered in gratitude by multitudes. I was one of them. She bandaged my wounds, stitched gashes in my thigh and simply held me, even when she was chastised for helping a slave. My shift was history, singed beyond ragged ribbons, reeking of smoke and devastation. I worked beside her throughout day and night, once more in that state of undress my Master had first found so pleasing. Everything brought Him to mind. He haunted me.


There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
but I have become comfortably numb.

For as many days as the flight to safety occurred, I remained there helping Aunt Connee. Sometimes it was nothing more than the first offering of water to make the rest of the journey easier. Often, it was a field dressing of injuries so that the sick and wounded could continue on to find their loved ones. I searched endlessly for faces of those I knew, always hoping beyond hope to see my Master. At the end of the second day, reports started filtering back to us. We knew of the Ubar and Ubara, the heads of clans, and the proud strong and mighty. Those that survived, those that gave their lives for us, and those that we held in our most fervent hope and wishes for recovery. I finally heard that the second in command, the Haruspex clan head, was seen helping the others. I had no doubt...I knew my Hero would not rest until His family was safe.

But I still could not cry. So many had lost so much, so dear to them. Reason told me I lost a friend, a woman of my heart.. My heart remained frozen. My body simply obeyed the mechanical urges. I was empty. I was numb.

(Pink Floyd)