Time

Dee and I argued. A big argument. It was one of those kinds of arguments where you keep on going and everything seems fair game and the slinging words really hurt and you both walk away looking at your hands and wondering what happened. You walk away, because there is nothing else left to do. You walk, and in my case, I ran, and you keep going until you can't go any further. I stayed there, nursing my pride and missing Dee like everything I had ever thought good and wonderful. I knew there were truths in what she said, even if I wasn't wanting to hear it. I suppose there were truths in what I said, though that seemed a lot less important when I was sitting alone.

I don't argue well. Unless it is something I am emotionally distanced from, and then I most often see both sides of an equation with equal energy. I probably should learn to not try, or learn to do so better, but that thought never occurs until after the fact. I didn't want to win, I just wanted to be understood. Those words of Master Fonce's came back to hit me in the face with such a blast that it took my breath away. I think, that is all Dee wanted too.

Standing at the edges of the places where we always met at, we worked in silence like we often did. The only difference was what was going on inside. Ahns stretch endlessly during times like that. How different time feels when we are happy. I never realized how time was anything but static. In the end, when fingertips met and hearts spoke, nothing else seemed important. I wanted her to know that a day without her just isn't quite the same. I wanted her to know that I value her thoughts, her ideas, her opinions. I think they make a nice compliment to mine. I wanted to hear them, just not in the heat of passion. Most of all, I wanted my friend.

Time was playing games with me.