The color blue

Remorse wears a color tinged in blue. It holds a shade of self pity and streak of sorrow. The edges are regret and the center throbs with ...hope.

I spent the rest of the night returning His wagon to right. Every feather I could find was stuffed carefully back into the pillows until they were plump. The splits and tears were stitched with my most carefully done invisible hem. The furs were raked and combed until air almost held them aloft in soft comfort. Small boxes knocked over were set back in place, and their contents returned. The plate of untouched food was once more arranged invitingly.

I had cried. I had sniffled. I had chastised myself and I had meditated on the dark spot across me on the canvas. There had been only one casualty - the black clay square that had held a bouquet of happiness. How appropriate, I thought.

I knew, in that place that knows such things, that no matter who did what - what was important - the only thing that was important - was that He enjoyed it. I knew, in my heart, that Red and I could work together to make this special. I understood, somewhere, that even if I never stepped inside this wagon again to leave a piece of myself, I would find another way. I knew, too, in some place that I hadn't fully explored - that it wasn't fluffed pillows that I wanted Him to think of when He thought of me.

I knew I had been a child. And I knew I tempted the very things I professed not to have. Jealousy and fear. I think - the closer we become to something special to us, the more we realize how much we don't want to lose it. Life can be silly and complicated.

By this time the morning was stealing through the openings of canvas and teasing me with a wake up call. It would be a long day without sleep, but somehow the punishment seemed both fitting and worth it. On the steps of Master's platform I greeted the day with a promise to myself. I had come so far, why give up now?

There, on the other steps, lay Red. She was sprawled out in exhaustion, and I wasn't sure if it was as far as she had gotten, or as far as she had been ..had. The color red winked in the brightening light from her fingertips and her toes. What a wonderful way to be. I drew up a blanket and covered....

His love slave.