The color green

I do not know what came over me. Sitting here, trying to coax the soreness from my tender toes in between bouts of holding them in the chilly water of the stream, I have that feeling of...dumbstruck. Have I ever behaved like this before?

Yes

And it wasn't any prettier.

I stepped into Master's wagon to start the preparation of His furs, my grouping of treats and a strand of the still damp crimson fluff twisted into a small string. The wagon smelled delicious and I knew that Red had done her magic with her scented oils and wax. I saw the fluffed and readied furs. I saw the plump new pillows. I saw the plate of food and a tart. A tart. I never left Him a tart.

It started in my gut and twisted into a knot. It roamed upward through my limbs and left my heart cold and pounding. I spun around feeling it claw through my arms into my fingers and they clenched beside me. I kicked at the edge of a fur, and it smiled and licked its lips and hissed...."yes"

'It' cheered while my mind screamed out ..how dare she. This was 'my' routine. This was how 'I' communicated to Him. This was what I did to show him me. This was 'my' love poured into every crevice, lump and fold. This was mine, every breath given to Him when He couldn't hear. Every touch imparted when He wasn't close. Every visual made to melt into His untouchable black gaze. MINE MINE MINE. My face was red, my hands had unbeatable strength that hungered to tear apart. My legs knew no limitations and I felt quite adept with the kick of my feet. It felt sooo good.

The furs went flying with a satisfying thwump. Browns and beiges stormed through the air as that delirious other voice encouraged more, more, more. I went after the pillows, wailing them across the expanse in the wagon, happily whirling in a dervish's frenzy when they hit canvas.

Me watched me. Me said..."how will He ever know me. "
And me answered..."this is ridiculous, you know."
Me said..."I know, but...." and feathers floated through the air like rain.
Me said..."this is fear."

And as fate often does when tempted it placed a chest right in the way of my foot.