Think Fast!

Dee had been talking of freedom, the pure unadulterated freedom that coursed through her veins and enhanced the love and joy in her life. Dee loved her Master completely, utterly, without reservation or hindrance. She told me there was hope, hope for me, that these ideas and ways of thinking would change, being replaced with the unbridled thoughts of a woman enslaved. Several instances would occur through the next few days that seemed made specifically for my attention.

The first was when Dee and I were visiting Shel. Shel is a pot maker. Her companion is a leather worker, and between them everything within their wagons is contained, concealed and kept well. Shel has not worked much with the mud and clay since her children were young, mere babes in arms needing a mother's touch and attention. Now that they are older, toddlers anxious to explore and touch everything in sight, Shel has returned to the forming and creation of pots. She has little fingers to help, and often Shel's designs have tiny fingerprints, lips marks and even bites. In exchange for Dee and I keeping the 'little potmakers' occupied, Shel let us each take a lopsided pot of wet mud to our Master's wagons. We were to let them dry in the light of the Central Fire for days before using, and then maybe even paint them or glaze them. While Dee was evading mud balls and I was mixing up more of the ammunition, Shel's companion's sister arrived. The woman is arrogant, with a haughty tip to a thin line of nose, and she clearly looks down upon most people, including Shel. She started speaking to Shel of her only daughter, a girl that sounded like she was made from the same mold as the mother. Shel's niece was to stand at the stakes in the coming Love Wars and the mother was quite certain she would return to mate a certain strong warrior. Shel's sister in law claimed no man could tame the spitfire of daughter, and I just had to grin thinking how many men would be so inclined to try. I was quite sure the power struggle would be attractive, though I wondered how long the parties would keep the war going.

The second was my arrival at the stream one heat filled afternoon. The Central Fire was hard pressed to leave any shadows untouched, and the cool fresh air around the stream was a welcome banquet for more than a few. He was there, my Master, and my mind seems to cut Him away from all the others, pushing them into a blurry background, sharpening Him into dark rich lines and colors. The smile bursts from somewhere inside of me and I can not keep myself from that connection of welcome, as if delicate spider's silk has lay invisible until I see Him. It wraps me up with sweetly sticky threads and draws me closer, closer, closer, until the warmth, His warmth and intense essence fills me. Only then can I breathe, only then can I begin to try and gather my wits about me. I usually fail at this point, my mouth working into words that stumble past my lips and fall like skip and trip stones over the creek waters, sinking with a plunk.

I had heard someone speaking. Asria I think it was. Speaking of losing yourself in love, in another who derails mind and soul and thoughts while making your pulse race. I was there. I agreed with her. Oh how I agreed with her, as I gazed with head over heels vision up to the man I was so attracted to. Others were disagreeing, or at least speaking of caution and reserve, but I recall thinking that I would love to speak further of this..this..feeling with the Mistress.

The third instance of example, of point to be considered in this struggle playing out inside my mind, came as the Man who made my world upside down, did so literally. There is this point in time when body, mind, thoughts and understanding are moving at different times. A moment the body is frantically sending signals to the brain, scrambled and desperate for action. A half ihn of suspension when my mind has gotten to understanding, but not yet sent the impulse back to the brain so that it might form into words that mean something. A particular slow motion heart pumping, pulse racing, adrenaline rushing breath when everything joins together to combust and I knew without a shadow of a doubt I was being tossed into the stream.

What a wake up call.