Catch

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.
(Roberta Flack)



"He called me Catch. Did you hear? He said...Catch!" I was giggling and I knew it, so wrapped up in happy moments that I felt like I might fly up to the sky and burst into a rainbow of confetti. Dee was laughing as she helped me pick out an extra pot for cooking from the camp supply wagon. I had already listened to all the teasing of the other slaves, and I didn't care. You could have picked me up with a feather, I was floating that high. It is the little things, silly things, that we take such delight in when we first are learning the paths of people and relationships. If only we could always make the small golden moments touch us so...I think the world would be a happier place.

I had found my Brave Warrior. It had been many days, many small gifts left, many nights, some with disturbed beads and other times without, and many cold meals carried back to the wagons. We had endured a water shortage, found plentiful water, warm days, temperate nights, lush grass and a stubborn old bosk that looked as big as my room back at that ranch. I thought we could go around it, though I wasn't sure if the old beast would survive us. I found out about the beliefs and superstitions of the people I now lived with. I was used to superstitions, for Yama and the others had their share of them. From tossing salt over my shoulder to hopping around on one foot in a circle, I knew of many. So we waited, in lines of wagons lashed together, much like the hopes of the people within them.

Dee and a few other girls were making a trip to the main fires to gather a few extra supplies. Since we were staying put at least for a day, there was the promise of cooking up a few nice dishes, cleaning out the wagons, and in general just enjoying being stationary. Some were restless, anxious to be moving again. Some had started up the dancing and singing, with drums and voices floating up to the ever changing sky. I had never been to the main fires and when we arrived, not all that far from where the wagons had stopped, I marveled at what looked like the start of a large gathering. While I was still lost in the wonder of all the faces gathered around, Dee stopped me and motioned across the clear area toward the fire that licked upward, twisting in the tousle of breeze. And there He was. We hurried across, though I passed up Dee with ease. And while I vaguely recalled all the previous lessons of kneeling and greeting and the like, everything was swept away on the tides of swelling emotions I felt, much to the consternation of Dee.

That was the start of the happy moments. He is brilliant in the midst of all the plains. Not sparkly, but raw and exciting and dangerous and bright. Much like the fire He was intently watching. I remember thanking Him, several times, and the sting of His hand against my butt. I remember the smile, His smile, and thinking it was the most beautiful thing I have ever in my life seen. I could see Him trying to figure me out, and I suppose in all my excitement I am just a bundle of shooting stars, and He was trying to grab one of them. I know I tripped, for I have a bruise on one cheek. Different from the one beneath my eye. I stumbled somewhere as well, scraping up my shin. But He smiled. And He called me Catch. And there was this flicker of something in His eyes that reached across a lifetime and met mine. And I was oblivious to anything else. Except how the fire danced for Him, expanded and contracted and rose and fell. Almost as if He directed it.

I am a cheeky untrained kajira. And it sounded as pleasant as that name...Catch. I am infatuated, I have been told. I am like that fire, swelling and expanding, caring little for the mists that might rain down around it, dancing with His feeding chips. I need to learn, to learn how to be pretty and beautiful and make Him smile with that special flicker in His eyes all the time. I sat on His platform, wrapped in a warm pelt, just cavorting with the stars up in the inky black sky. And I heard my name.